Stop Being Pushed Around by Lynda Bevan is essentially a guide to building self-esteem. The majority of it focuses on romantic relationships, which makes sense because most self-esteem issues only become apparent when one is in a relationship or is just coming out of one.

It should be noted that the book is merely a guide.The most effective practice is self-examination as is shown throughout the book by the questions Bevan poses to the reader. Stop Being Pushed Around does eventually does give a few examples of negative and positive ways to respond to criticism, disrespect, and other tools that are used to pick away at a person's confidence. Also, throughout the book are several quotes sprinkled in just the right places to inspire the reader.

Overall, the book is a great guide on how to build one's esteem. It presents several realistic scenarios and gives the pros and cons to different responses. I feel this is the most effective in showing the reader the most efficient way to counter those who are making them feel inferior.

Reviewed on 02/25/2010 by ReviewTheBook.com Member Kenita Hood

Patricia M. Berliner, CSJ, Ph.D.
NYS Licensed Psychologist
149 Beach 112 St.
Rockaway Park, NY 11694
718 318 1181
pberl@juno.com

July 2009

FINDING OUR WAY BACK HOME


A Review of STOP BEING PUSHED AROUND: A PRACTICAL GUIDE
Lynda Bovan
Book #3 in the 10-Step Empowerment Series
MI: Love Healing Press (2008)

Beginning with the questions “Are you a victim?’ and “Are you living with a victim?”  Ms. Bovan launches into an exploration of bullying in our workplaces, homes, primary relationships, and interpersonal connections.  Too often we expect it, accept it and allow it.  And when we do, we become, in our minds, if not in fact, victims of our own fear, passivity, “goodness” and confusion.  Too often, we hand ourselves over rather than taking charge of our own lives by saying no.  Ms. Bovan invites us to stop being pushed around.

Asking each of us “Are you a victim? Are you living with a victim?” she launches us out into the deep, beginning the journey of transformation from victim to survivor to freedom.  Survival, definitely an important stage of development, is only the start.  Simply surviving is nowhere nearly enough.  Victory comes only when we can claim, and live into, the right and our own power to become independent/interdependent, proactive and free.

Ms. Bevan effectively identifies problems, issues, stages, steps and solutions along the way to personal freedom, which is ours only when we cast off the cloak of victimization and assume the cloak of power.

Ms. Bevan’s goal is noble, but the steps she takes are tentative and incomplete. The content is good; the format is not.  Too much of this work consists of outlines and lists…academic accessories.  But this mode is stark, not putting enough flesh and blood into the main characters, their struggles, their successes and their failures.  She forces the reader to read between the lines of the lives of the people to whom they look for identity, encouragement and strength.

A seemingly petty concern, but one which is important to me as a licensed psychologist, is that, although Ms. Bevan states that she is a counselor, I could not find notation of her professional credentials anywhere in the book.  As professionals, we owe it to our readers/clients/students to identify our professional certifications and qualifications.  Not providing this was a major oversight on the author’s part.

Patricia M. Berliner, Ph.D.
NYS Licensed Psychologist

Reviewed on 08/17/2009 by ReviewTheBook.com Member Patricia Berliner